Staying Friends When You Wanted More: 5 Steps to Move On
Yes, it was painful, after many years of chatting up Paul whenever I thought of him or wanted to know what was going on in his life, but I also stopped dwelling. I took a hiking trip with friends. I reconnected with family.
I read more novels than I thought possible. I also journaled for the first time in years. For two weeks straight, I woke to write five blessings.
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I enjoyed simple pleasures and took time alone to connect with and savor what is. Most of all, I needed to exercise the same compassion and tenderness towards myself that I offer to others.
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A stream of questions haunted me: What if he marries this woman? I ran every irrational, worst-case scenario. Deep breaths and mindful meditation cooled my mind enough to realize that worst-case scenarios serve no one. Disappointment cannot be ignored and yet, like any emotion, it is a passing state, undulating like waves to the shoreline.
7 signs someone you're dating should seriously just be your friend
We are impermanent beings in flux, and we cannot expect either our relationships or those in our lives to remain static. It was unrealistic of me to believe that Paul would always have time to talk on the phone or share a lunch much less that he would somehow choose to remain single without knowing, forthrightly, my feelings for him. While I could not rewind time and ask him out directly, I started to see my own irrationalities and inconsistencies as part of what had brought me to this path.
My new yearnings, though seemingly powerful, were as fluctuating as those storm-tossed waves. I mourned certain things about Paul during our friendship hiatus: Those qualities which attracted me to Paul, I realized, do not solely belong to him. They were qualities that, had you asked my friends or family, I might be said to possess and that I might say they possess, too. His humor and insights captivated me. We hiked, we shared long phone conversations, and we offered everyday observations that left us both in stitches.
Paul meant no harm to me. That respect, though not easy for either of us, is a true surviving gift. Similarly, be respectful and compassionate toward yourself.
- How to Go from Dating to Being Friends Again - wikiHow!
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- 5 Ways To Actually Stay Friends After A Breakup | Thought Catalog!
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If the sexual chemistry is off, get out of it. All couples have times when their eyes wander, especially once the initial heart eyes fade.
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But if you wish your work wife was your actual wife but like, for real , your current relationship might not be satisfying you properly anymore. But hey, possible bright side: Because you both worked so hard to transition into a couple, it can be hard to admit defeat. This can happen in all facets of life, but one of the saddest is when you start to realize that your relationship is not turning out to be the happily ever after you dreamed of. The reality is that sometimes love can change. While some people prefer to make a clean break after a long relationship, others prefer to remain friends and talk and even visit with one another regularly.
Here are some guidelines to help steer you in the right direction if you decide to remain friends after a break up.
5 Ways To Actually Stay Friends After A Breakup
Is there a future? What do you both want that future to look like? If being friends is not possible, respect the decision and move on. Sometimes being friends after a breakup is easier in theory than it is in practice. That is why it is imperative to set boundaries and stick to them.
Will you still feel the warm glow of friendship after the first time you see your ex dating someone new? Things like that may seem small at the time, but they can lead to confusion and heartache. People may question your decision to remain friends with your ex, and their concerns may have some validity.
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